Monday, July 31, 2006

Decisions......Or Not.

So. Last night we had dinner at Red Lobster with the fam. It was yummy and I had a drink, which is rare. A banana daiquiri, and it was yummy. Yay. Way more got done at the beach house yesterday too. The boys put up cedar shingles along the entire back part of the house and it looks SOOO good. Also, Kurt put most of a tile floor in the kitchen.....That looks great as well.

Today was a normal day at work. We have been so slammed and I don't get it, this is normally our "dead" time of the year, and we are crazy busy. But that's OK, I'll take the extra business....

OK, on to my topic of the day. Since I love to use names to protect the innocent on this blog, I am going to call my topic girl "Norma". I would like to call topic girl "Loser, Stealer, Cheat, Disrespectful Moron", but that wouldd take some time to type every time I refer to her here.

Years Ago

So. Said story starts some time back. Norma graduated from college. Norma had a very marketable degree, but chose not to pursue her career, as Norma was living with her boyfriend who was not yet done with school. Norma instead basically sat around and lived off her parents money, constantly borrowing money from them to live off of and working at dead end, low pay, part-time jobs. Norma continually quit jobs. About two years went by with this same pattern. During this time, Norma was also pulled over for drunk driving. After said drunk driving, Norma allowed friends to drive her car, including one friend who wrecked the car totally. Norma then drove her car and was pulled over and thrown in jail again for violating her DUI. Thrown in jail a second time. Bailed out yet again by family.

More Recent

Norma text messaged her brother and cousin late one night, simply stating "Help." Norma could not call, because unfortunately, Norma also rarely paid her bills, and her cell service had been cut off some time ago. Norma's parents were called by her brother, and the police were apparently sent to her apartment to check on her. Upon arrival, the police were told by Norma that her boyfriend had "beat her up". Said boyfriend was thrown in jail. (Before you feel sorry for Norma wait until a later chapter in the story where it is discovered that Norma made this entire incident up for "attention"). Norma's parents, who have always been there for her (sometimes to a fault) showed up to take her and her things back to her hometown, Oak City.

Even More Recent

Norma moved back home and did not pursue the charges against her boyfriend. Norma's testimony was needed to go any further and Norma was fearful boyfriend would go to jail. Umm, isn't that where people who hit others belong? Apparently not, in Norma's world. Norma's parents then got her really decent waitressing jobs and Norma began working. Even though Norma's parents did EVERYTHING for her, Norma was still a nonthankful brat, complaining about anything and everything and acting like a total spoiled child.

The Talk

Because of Norma's selfish behavior, Norma's mother sat her down for a talk. During said talk, Norma tells her Mother she has been in contact with the boyfriend because "he has a right to know..." What, you may ask? A right to know she is pregnant. And of course, not surprisingly, Norma has no interest in an abortion. She plans on "working all summer and saving money to support her child." (intelligent thoughts, I know. I am sure all mothers out there were never aware that you can support a child on ONE summer of working???). As you might have guessed, Norma is not saving her money. Norma is spending all her money and sending it to her boyfriend. Norma also continually buys herself luxury items, while Norma's mother works a second job to help support the household and pay the bills Norma has incurred.

It Gets Worse

Just as you thought this story could not get any worse, it does. One weekend, while Norma's mother is out of town, Norma's sister is working at the mall and looks out the window of her store into the mall and sees....drumroll please....Norma and her boyfriend, walking about with a ton of bags........Norma's sister tells her parents and they confront her. She tells them that her boyfriend never hit her, she made it up for attention and because she thought he was going to leave her. Nice. Nobody still knows if she lying or not, but at this point, I don't think anyone cares either.

More Recent

Norma's mother calls my husband crying. I guess Norma stole her parents identity and opened credit card accounts fraudulently, racking up $15000+ in charges. Norma bought mostly items for her boyfriend and herself, including stereo systems, diamonds and the like. Norma's father called the police and when they ran her license, an outstanding warrant popped up in another city for her nonappearance at a DUI hearing. Norma was carted off to jail. And, bailed out by her parents. Nice. I am truly starting to think at this point that Norma can do no wrong. Would murder equate to consequences for Norma? Who the hell knows.


My dilemma through the years with this situation has been this. Norma and I have always been close.. She used to come to me with her problems and ask for advice and has not throughout all of this. I believe because she does not want to hear the truth, or an honest opinion. Everyone has been babying her and no consequences have been set for any of her actions.

I am extremely disappointed in Norma's actions.

I am mad that Norma disrespects her entire family.

I am annoyed that Norma never came to me through any of this.

I am devastated at the way this is affecting Norma's younger sister, who has to look elsewhere for a role model because her sister is, for lack of better words, a complete and total idiot.

It makes me sick that one person's actions are tearing an entire close knit family apart.

And I am sad that the person I once knew is obviously no longer there. That I have pretty much lost a friend, a family member, a person in my life.

I never thought in my life that I would stop talking to someone, or choose to disown a family member, but I simply can't do this anymore. If SOMEONE does not take action, Norma will never get better. Everyone sits around and acts like everything she does is forgiveable, or that her actions are freaking personality traits. OK, maybe we need to accept that she is having a baby when she can't even take care of herself (which if I might add, i think is one of the most selfish things one could do). But, I don't have to accept that Norma is a liar. That she steals. That she is a fraud.

It's sad that I am afraid for a family member to be near me, because I think she will steal from my house or my purse? How sick is that?


Rebecca said...

I wish I had some advice, especially because you've given me so much lately, but sometimes, you just have to let people make their own mistakes. I know it's hard to turn a blind eye to it but they have done all they could for her and she doesn't want their help. It's a sad situation...

Kelsie said...

It is hard and very sad. However, I have some experience with this as I feel like you are talking about my 19 y/o sister. Except, my sister has a 7 month old baby.

I am so angry at her for what she is doing right now. It is so unfair to the innocent child.

But guess what? My parents continure to bail her out. She is in some serious, very, very serious trouble right now and I think my parents are going to bail her out. I don't think they should. She needs to face the consequences and take accountability for once in her life. If they bail her out of this, next time it will only get worse (as she has proven to them already with her history in her short life). She has also been going around telling ppl that "her daddy won't let her go to jail, especially since she has a child."

For that statement, I think she does need to go to jail and let CPS take the baby.

How sad is that? It breaks my heart to think that way especially about a poor innocent child, that is my niece!! Tough love. There comes a point when you must cut the umbilical cord and let the child learn from their mistakes or the child will be 50 and you will still be supporting that child and bailing that child out of trouble. My dad should know this b/c his mom still does this with his brother.

Good luck Lori. I hope that Norma's parents will learn some tough love and force her to grow up or suffer the consequences. If one doesn't suffer the consequences of their actions, then one will never learn and will keep making "bad choices" as my parents state about my sister.

Sorry I rambled on for so long. Hope that helped. Good luck, hon.

That is definitely a tough spot to be in!