Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Wondering.....

I am at a loss.

How does an adult explain things to a teenager? I remember being a teenager and thinking adults knew nothing, did not understand me, that their comparable situations were nothing like what I was going through, that I was "really" in love.....

I truly don't get how teenagers can think that cheating is ever acceptable. Or that being treated like complete shit by their significant other is something that can just be overlooked. How teenagers think that someone has "changed" or "learned their lesson" literally overnnight. I really don't know why this surprises me at all though because I see it every day at office, ADULTS thinking that cheating is acceptable, continually going back to the person....

Someone who I absolutely love is part of a relationship now, and I am terrified it is going to be a pattern. I see it so much at my office, and in life in general. This person has a boyfriend who basically lied to her, stopped talking to her, etc. in order to sleep around for a week and be "free". I totally predicted what would happen next. This person was devastated because she lost her boyfriend and the person she loved. But, she seemed to realize that his treatment was not acceptable behavior. Then, as soon as the other girl left town again, Mr. Playa played his game and won back the girl. It took all of, umm, like a few days?

Must be nice to have the luxury to play on the side at your discretion, and then have your girlfriendd back when you are done screwing around.

But, there is nothing I can do. I can only offer my advice and support and leave it like that. If someone thinks that this is forgiveable behavior, what can I really do, right? It's not my life, it's not my decision, it's not my relationship. I just wish I could offer some guidance, but I can't make someone's self esteem higher, I can't fix problems that are more deeply rooted than I can figure out. It is exasperating.

It just makes me extremely sad. If you are allowing people to treat you like this at such a young time in your life, you have SUCH a chance of this continuing into your future relationships. And this person is an awesome girl. She simply deserves only the best and I DON'T GET how she would settle for this. Truly. She is gorgeous, intelligent and funny..........Why settle for a cheater when you could have more?

I guess it's one of life's mysteries.....If anyone on here has ideas, please let me know. I would do anything to break this horrendous pattern.

It's funny how as you get older, you see that your parents and elders were right......I don't like to admit it, but I have been more and more lately. I constantly tell my Mom she was right, and thank her for being there for me and being so strict....I thought I knew sooo much as a teenager and was SOOO mature, and yea, I was a smart kid.

Moral of the story: You never know everything. Put yourself in someone else's shoes. Try and look at things from all perspectives......Respect yourself and never accept anything but the best.....

5 comments:

Rebecca said...

Don't have any advice but all I can say is sometimes people have to learn from their mistakes, but sometimes they never get it and the cycle continues. All you can do is be a good listener, which I know that you are and just hope that she opens her eyes to the way she's being treated and realize that it's not right.

Courtney said...

Yeah, I remember those days... you think your parents/elders don't know a darn thing and you are omnipotent as a teenager. Then I turned ohhhh 'bout 25 and the epiphany hit... wow, they really did know what they were talking about. I'm sorry to hear that she is going through so much crap... I only hope that she doesn't tolerate it for very long and gives this guy the boot.

Ezbrz said...

Lori, the moral of your story is soo true! I don't understand how anyone could trust again after that kind of betrayl? I live it everyday and can't imagine ever being with him again...and now realizing i don't even want that.

Hobby Chef said...

Hey Lori! Maybe you recognize me from IV ... at any rate, I'm a new reader!

It is completely heartbreaking to see young people sacrificing all they could be to be treated badly and hurt by someone they think they love. I think all you can really do is be there for her and offer her your insights! As you point out, she may not see the value of it now, but your advice and compassion are certainly making an impact - whether you can see it or not.

Lori Anne Haskell said...

Thanks so much everyone. Hobby Chef: do you have a blog? If so, I would love to read yours......You can email it to me if you want at loridz@comcast.net.....