Sunday, January 22, 2006

The Difference Between Good Friends and Bad Friends.

Good Friends

So this afternoon, I went to visit with Marla, Bodie and the new baby, Maya Renae. Had a blast playing with Bodie, and visiting with Marla. Maya was such a little doll, slept a lot while I was there, but I still got to hold her and fall in love with her. I took some pics and will upload when I get a second. Bodie is SO funny too. He is a total mama's boy, and he does not like having Maya around. He was almost acting like she did not exist, like if he acted that way, she might disapear. But, when nobody else was paying attention, he would sneak little glances at her and smile. Too cute.

After that, I went to my Aunt's to have dinner with her and my Grama, and go to the Plymouth Ice Sculpture Show. Had dinner at Eastside Mario's (yum) but the Show was pretty much nonexistent because of the warm weather we have been having.

Bad Friends**

I was thinking tonight. During the past few years, I have slowly removed some people* from my life who I have moved into the category of "one-sided friendships." The reason? I don't have time to try and maintain relationships with those who are not trying in return. I have many friendships with understanding, intelligent, sweet, caring, compassionate and beautiful individuals who know what it's like to be a friend through thick and thin. I used to let my feelings get so hurt when these so-called friends* would suddenly have mood swings and decide they hated me, then the next week say they were sorry and want everything to be OK. while I would say I understand and that I forgave them, I don't think I truly could ever forget. The funny thing, these people do not even realize the way they behave. They proclaim to despise certain characteristics in others, and I find it hilarious that these traits they hate are totally obvious in their own personalities. So, all of you who are "faking" being friends with me because you find it mildly amusing or don't want to be the one to cut the ties. just stop. i am not as 'stupid' as you think i am and i get it. and i don't care whatsoever because that part of my personality was changed long ago because of you. i have been on to you all along.

Good Friends

My friend Deanna was glad, I think, when i finally came to this realization. I think she was getting sick of idiot girls* screwing with my mind by being so freaking bi-polar and psychologically immature. it is funny that the girls* who think they are the most intelligent, and who may in fact be very booksmart, are lacking so much in other ways. i know she thinks I am a strong independent person, so it was odd to her that i would place any value on a friendship where the other person was just plain rude. But she is a great friend. She never told me I was an idiot, just supported me and told me these people* did not deserve someone like me as a friend. So anyway, this was all long, long ago, but this is a lesson to everyone. don't forget the the little things your great friends say to you.

**names not used to protect the 'innocent'. ha. OK, maybe innocent was a bad choice of words.


Cynthia said...

Girl I am with you. The older I get the less and less I feel like putting up with other people's bull$hit. I saw a "friend" that I had in High School a few months back and she told me "Oh you haven't changed at all" I told her that I wasn't as sweet as I used to be. I feel so jaded when it comes to "friends". It seems like after High School everyone's real colors started to show and I got burned for being too nice. Now if someone pisses me off I write them off. They act like we are still friends and I just laugh and walk away. I don't have many friends anymore but I see is as me downsizing my friendships to people who I trust, trust me and deserve for me to spend time caring for them. The list is few and I am happy with it.
Isn't it amazing as you get older you get a lot smarter?
I hope I am not one of the people*
I guess I can't be though since I live in Texas...Thank goodness!
Love ya!

Lori Anne Haskell said...

Of course you are not one of those people, LOL! This all happened a long time ago, I was just feeling philosophical tonight thinking about it and how I was glad I got over being that way long ago. :).

Shannon said...

I know how you feel- I sent something similar to those ** people in my life in July...I told them that I didn't have the energy to pretend that we were friends anymore, and that it would be healthier for me to drop them.
I can't believe someone as smart and talented as you would let anyone that toxic have an effect on your person....

Lori Anne Haskell said...

Thanks Shannon! That is like the nicest thing someone has said to me in a while! :).

Something just hit me one day, I was like "am i stupid??" I have all these awesome friends, why the hell am I trying anymore with the ones who aren't so great? Once I came to this decision, everything else just kinda fell in place. Still talk to the kinda friends, but don't get concerned when their responses are surface.