I have no idea if I want kids or not. Some days I want one, some days more than one, and some days, I don't want to have kids at all. Really, the decision is not even open for discussion at the moment. My life is insanity, and I plan on not even adding the kid factor into my life (or even thinking seriously about it), until my life slow down a LOT. As in, I am like, retired. Yea, I know I am now over 30, but age has nothing to do with it for me. If I want a child and I am *too old*, I will adopt. Anyway, I digress.
Kurt was on Newsweek today and came across this article, which I found interesting, and a lot of it true. There are obviously pros and cons to having kids. The article talks about the *whispers* about the only couple on the street who does not have kids. I am glad that not having kids is not as *crazy* as it once was, but I think people still kinda look at those who are not interested with disdain, like they are selfish and not willing to make the sacrifice to have kids. That's not how I look at it at all. I think a lot of couples who have kids are selfish in HAVING the child. They don't have enough money, enough time, enough WHATEVER to dedicate to that child, but choose to have one anyway because it's in their plan for their life, and because it's just what people do. My fav friends to talk to about motherhood are the ones that talk about the good and bad, and dont solely emphasize the good. People should just tell it like it is. Being a parent is not all fun and games........
Too many people have kids because they want a cute baby to play with and look at, and dont think about how hard it is to be a parent, how time consuming, how it completely changes your life. I know for most, it changes it in both good and bad ways. But, this is part of my reason for being nonchalant about it all. I love my life. I love my relationship with my husband. I love how we can take off, almost whenever we want, and galavant around the world. Can do crazy jungle hikes, eat at nice restaurants, and sleep in, without any added responsibilty......I love how when I do have spare time, I can do what I want, and not have to worry about the needs of others. I don't consider that selfish, I just consider it a choice.
Don't know why this is all coming out of me tonight, i guess the article just sparked a blog topic. ;). To my friends with kids, this post is not meant to offend AT ALL. I love all my friends' kids, adore them and love getting emails with kid pictures, spending time with them, etc. I just dont want that 24 hour a day job yet!
PS It's hard to look at the pic above of nick and NOT want a baby, but I was happy to be able to hand him back and drive home at the end of the night. ;).
Kurt was on Newsweek today and came across this article, which I found interesting, and a lot of it true. There are obviously pros and cons to having kids. The article talks about the *whispers* about the only couple on the street who does not have kids. I am glad that not having kids is not as *crazy* as it once was, but I think people still kinda look at those who are not interested with disdain, like they are selfish and not willing to make the sacrifice to have kids. That's not how I look at it at all. I think a lot of couples who have kids are selfish in HAVING the child. They don't have enough money, enough time, enough WHATEVER to dedicate to that child, but choose to have one anyway because it's in their plan for their life, and because it's just what people do. My fav friends to talk to about motherhood are the ones that talk about the good and bad, and dont solely emphasize the good. People should just tell it like it is. Being a parent is not all fun and games........
Too many people have kids because they want a cute baby to play with and look at, and dont think about how hard it is to be a parent, how time consuming, how it completely changes your life. I know for most, it changes it in both good and bad ways. But, this is part of my reason for being nonchalant about it all. I love my life. I love my relationship with my husband. I love how we can take off, almost whenever we want, and galavant around the world. Can do crazy jungle hikes, eat at nice restaurants, and sleep in, without any added responsibilty......I love how when I do have spare time, I can do what I want, and not have to worry about the needs of others. I don't consider that selfish, I just consider it a choice.
Don't know why this is all coming out of me tonight, i guess the article just sparked a blog topic. ;). To my friends with kids, this post is not meant to offend AT ALL. I love all my friends' kids, adore them and love getting emails with kid pictures, spending time with them, etc. I just dont want that 24 hour a day job yet!
PS It's hard to look at the pic above of nick and NOT want a baby, but I was happy to be able to hand him back and drive home at the end of the night. ;).
5 comments:
Yeah, I find myself on the fence a lot too. When I was younger, I knew I wanted kids, for sure. I still think I do, but days like today, when the last thing I wanted to do was get out of bed? Well, it's nice not to have to worry about a crying baby...plus, I've seen my friends completely change and their life becomes all about their kid, can't do anything without their kid, can't go anywhere without their kid. Hi, there are babysitters!
Hear hear.
It's also nice to know that I don't want kids because I think they'll bring me some unreachable happiness, or, really, anything more than more broke and more sleep-deprived. And that, scientifically speaking, that's true. My reasons for wanting children most recently are to feel like I have some purpose and am contributing something to the world. Which, scientifically, appears to be valid. Too many of us who SHOULD be reproducing (educated, stable) are the ones who are NOT, and everyone who shouldn't be are - probably too much. I bet Darwin never saw THAT coming.
In the meantime, I'm in the same boat as you... :)
I am in the same boat as you:) I acutally posted this little article in a MySpace bulletin. I talk about having kids, but when I look at the expenses and time that I would have to put into it, I keep holding off. Thus, why I have the pug. I'm sure I'll eventually have a kid someday (if the ovary permits it), however until then people need to back off. Just because I'm childless does not mean I have no life. It's actually the opposite!
There are people in my life who get married, buy a house and 1.5 years later decide they want to have a "baby". I have kept my mouth shut but in reality, I just want to say "you want a baby? Then don't have a kid. If you want a baby, go babysit or work in a nursery. Guess what, a BABY turns into a TODDLER which turns into a young child..and then a TEENAGER!!"
I think people need to think long and hard about all the responsibilty a child entails. I'm well aware of it which is why I think I'm scared to pull the trigger. Yes, I want kids but I'm not going into it thinking it's all fun and games.
Wow, sorry about that. There's a lot of "competition" with the in-laws regarding children and right now I feel as though others think they have one up on me because they have a child. Little do they do I think I'm one up :-D
"Some days I want one, some days more than one, and some days, I don't want to have kids at all."
This thought process doesn't end even after you have a kid :P
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